Greetings Internets,
This is a story all about how we made Bethesda Softworks, ZeniMax
Media, and everything they own, our bitch for life.
As you should know, The Lulz Boat stores vast amounts of booty;
much of this booty we don't release as it's simply too shiny and/or
delicious. As of late, certain inferior sailing boats have discovered
flaws in Brink (brinkthegame.com), thinking themselves exciting and new.
Too late. The Lulz Boat controls this ocean, chumps.
Some weeks ago, we smashed into Brink with our heavy artillery Lulz
Cannons and decided to switch to ninja mode. From our LFI entry point,
we acquired command execution via local file inclusion of enemy fleet
Apache vessel. We then found that the HTTPD had SSH auth keys, which
let our ship SSH into other servers. See where this is going?
We then switched to root ammunition rounds.
And we rooted... and rooted... and rooted...
After mapping their internal network and thoroughly pillaging all of
their servers, we grabbed all their source code and database passwords,
which we proceeded to shift silently back to our storage deck.
Please find enclosed everything we took, excluding one thing -
200,000+ Brink users. We actually like this company and would
like for them to speed up the production of Skyrim, so we'll
give them one less thing to worry about. You're welcome!
Please keep making awesome games, guys, and you should
totally add an official LulzSec top hat to new releases.
But anyway, bwahahaha... >:]