Do you speak english?

Esto se tiene que leer en voz alta o no hace gracia.

a.. Boy as n r = Voy a cenar = I'm gonna have dinner
b.. N L C John = en el sillon = on the armchair
c.. Who and seek ago = Juan se cago = John is a chicken things
d.. S toy tree stone = estoy triston = I'm kind a sad
e.. Lost trap eat toss = los trapitos = the little rags
f.. Desk can saw = descanso = (you) rest
g.. As say toon as = aceitunas = olives
h.. The head the star mall less stan dough = deje de estar molestando = stop bugging me
i.. See eye = si hay = yes we have
j.. T n s free o ? = tienes frio? = are you cold?
k.. T N S L P P B N T S O = Tienes el pipi bien tieso = you have an erection
l.. Tell o boy ah in cruise tar = Te lo voy a incrustar = I'm going to insert it in you