Hardcore Gaming!1!!!!1!!!!

Hustler escribió:Matt Casamassina: So could you Jenna, explain us a little bit about your gaming background...

Jenna Jameson: Well... It's been a long time since i enjoyed videogames last time, lets say the last time i happened to be addicted to one was... probably... UGA's Rez ...

Matt Casamassina: Wow... I never expected such an answer coming from a girl like you, and, please, don't take my words in a rude way...

Jenna Jameson: Matt... It was Rez for Dreamcast... I... ( interrupted by Matt's swearing )

Matt Casamassina: WOOOOW, THAT'S FUCKING INCREDIBLE... I MEAN, COME ON, YOU EVEN KNOW THE DREAMCAST... I expected that you played it on PS2... I never thought you were so hardcore...

Jenna Jameson: I think you don´t really understand why i prefered the Dreamcast version... but... it´s OK... Let´s move on to the next question...

Matt Casamassina: So... now that i know a little bit more about your gaming background... may i dare you to ask you about former gaming experiences ?... Did you have any contact with 8 bit gaming ?

Jenna Jameson: Sure i had them ! ... Perhaps you know a game designer named Clifford Beszinski...

Matt Casamassina: Cliffy B!!!!... you know Cliffy B !!!!!?????

Jenna Jameson: Yeah, we lived in the same neighbourhood when we were kids and i spent a lot of time with him, in his cellar, where he had all those Nintendo games... As you may know Cliff is a mad Nintendo Fanboy, or at least he was... he even got his high-scores published in Nintendo Power... What many people don't know is that i was as important as him in relation to this wonderful scores...

Matt Casamassina: Are you triying to tell us that you played one level each or something like that...

Jenna Jameson: ( blushes ) ...No...not really... I developed my hand technique on him while he was playing the game...

Matt Casamassina: On him???... you mean on the controller... Right?

Jenna Jameson: Oh, Matt... We are talking for Hustler, not your kiddy IGN... But if you want to talk that way... He kept calling " his controller " the NES Advantage... and, belive me... It had a gorgeous turbofire in my hands...( laughs )

Matt Casamassina: I guess that this explains why those scores felt so... inspired ( laughs )

Jenna Jameson: ( laughs more and looks at Matt with her powerful and patented " blue-eyed-and-princess-peached jennagazeTM ")

Matt Casamassina: ( laughs even... more... and blushes... looks at his crouch and abruptly stops the laughin )... So anyway... Let´s move to present time... I know you are going to be in charge of a Next-gen gaming section in this magazine... the next question is quite obvious... Have you played any of those systems ?

Jenna Jameson: Sure... I mean, I played every single one of them...

Matt Casamassina: OK... First we are going to talk about Microsoft's new platform, the Xbox360... There has been lots of comments around from many people talking bad about the console... about not being that Next-gen step forward that people expected... what are your thoughts about this matter ?

Jenna Jameson: Well, I am a close friend of some important people down there in Redmon... specially of Mr Ballmer... So you're putting me in a difficult situation with the question... But, yeah, people is right with all the trashtalking going on with the system... I mean, i also expected a lot more about the next-gen experience... Sure Microsoft did their homework and i applaud the wireless implementation in the controllers, and all those tiny little motors they put inside for the vibration... but come on guys... why did you kept the controller S proprotions from the previous Xbox... It definately fells tiny... and that's what happens when you put your eyes on the asian market when you are designing your hardware... you should have thought in the afro-american design instead...

Matt Casamassina: ...Well... Jenna... I'm sorry to disagree with you... but the controller design in the new Xbox has been one of the most well talked elements about the console...

Jenna Jameson: Sure, Matt... but that's because you are too... young yet... you wouldn´t think the same if you spent some time in jail...

Matt Casamassina: What???!!!...

Jenna Jameson: Sorry... but as you get older you will become aware that size matters ( looks at her breast )... and tiny things that made you happy, don´t do their job later...

Matt Casamassina: Well... I don't really understand your point, but let´s move on to the next question... PS3... What do you think of it ?

Jenna Jameson: PS3...that Kutaragi is one clever guy and knows what people want... I mean... almost the same controller design but putting a few inches more on the horns and rounding the shape even more... That really fells next-gen to me... Dualshock was a good design but, again, the small proportions didn't allow for reaching both places at the same time... I fell a lot of african inspiration in the shape...

Matt Casamassina: ...So you played some PS3 games ?... You used the controller, right ?... Tell us about the graphics, the phisics, the gameplay... Is really the combination of RSX and Cell so powerful as Kutaragi clai... ( interrupted )

Jenna Jameson: Matt!!!... I didn't play any games!!!!... a girl knows about those things!!!!... I only needed to see the case to give it my blessings!!!!... Jesus...you are stupid or what ?

Matt Casamassina: Yeah... right... I guess... So the HD era really starts with PS3... Its GPU...

Jenna Jameson: ( laughs )... you videogame nerds get freaky with those acronyms you use!... i mean... HDR, RPG, FPS, !... I don't know what HD means!... In my book HD stands for Hard Dick and GPU for G-Point Usage... In that case... yeah... PS3 is them start of your fucking " HD era "...

Matt Casamassina: I´m trying hard to understand your thoughts but i'm in a certain state of confusion, so please don't get mad and let's move on to the next question... Nintendo's Revolution...

Jenna Jameson: Those at Kyoto really nailed it... Nintendo has opted for a forward thinking model, and really shows who is the master in the market...

Matt Casamassina: ... Sure, that´s what I thought when I saw the controller... ( interrupted )

Jenna Jameson: Right!, Right!... It's all about that " touching is good, but feling is better " stance... now we are talking the same language!... so you have been kidding me the last rounds !... you naughty Matt !... ( Laughs )

Matt Casamassina: Kidding... uhm... no... ( Laughs )

Jenna Jameson: Yeah, you liar!... I made my homeworks... I know you published a " hands-on " report of the controller at IGN... ( winks )

Matt Casamassina: That's right...

Jenna Jameson: So you are aware of it's design... It's perfect from my perspective... They kept it with the essentials, giving it an all usable shape factor and putting a powerful vibration on it...

Matt Casamassina: !!!!!!?????

Jenna Casamassina: Yeah!... Naughty Matt!!!... You have used it!!!... you know what we are talking... don't fell asshamed... And the Nunchuck style!!!... THAT... IS... SIMPLY... GENIOUS... putting a cord between both parts of the controller makes all the difference for Lesbian gigs or DP for girls with fat asses like yours... the PS3 controller doesn't really work for that stuff...

Matt Casamassina: BUT...YOU ARE NOT A GRAPHICS WHORE!!!!!... YOU ARE JUST A FUKING BITCH!!!!... you know... I've been trying to keep in secret the real motives for my love for Nintendo, IT WAS REALLY HARD IN THE N64 WITH THAT BIG HORN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CONTROLLER!!!!... ... and you just spilled the beans on the Nunchuck thing!!!!... YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!... I HAVE A REPUTATION !!!!... AND YOU ARE AN INSIDER NOW!!!!... YOU KNOW... KEEP SECRETS!!!!... NDA's AND ALL THAT STUFF!!!!!!!!

Jenna Jameson: Oh! Come on, Naughty Matt... once someone told me that secrets eat you from within, you have to let them away... And I have a Revmote just right here...

Matt Casamassina: (in a high pitched italian accent ) JUST WHAT I NEEDED!!!( tape end )